When people want to build a new house by themselves, majority of them would have either a University degree – they studied deeply the subject. OR they would have a group of friends who would be the experts on building houses, and they would guide them step by step what to do. Probably no-one would attempt to build the new house with no education whatsoever and be expecting that to be a good solid house. Or watch some standalone videos on Youtube and still believe that they did everything they could. The house probably would probably not be very stable or safe, right.
And yet this is the approach we take in our love life. We believe we should know the skills „by nature“. And then we are surprised when the relationship ends very early, very quickly, very surprisingly. It took me years to realize and accept that I am actually missing some relationship skills. For years, I strongly believed, that my previous relationships ended because simply I was choosing wrong partners
Based on Forbes article published in Nov this year, 43% of first marriages end in divorce. That is such a proof that our „knowledge“ is not enough. By the way, 60% of second marriages and 73% of third marriages end in divorce too. It is because Relationship skills need to be built the same way as Project Management skills, the same way as playing piano skills, or presentation skills.
And the great news is – this can learned.
So the #1 key reasons why so many of us struggle with dating and relationship is that we don’t realize we need to build our Dating and Relationship skills, and if we do realize it – we don’t find an effective way how. And believe me, I have been there, going through heartbreaks and keeping the false belief, that ‚this is not about me‘. As many people, I was also watching some standalone videos on Youtube. And as for majority of people, that wasn’t truly helpful. Simply because it was like building that house with just some standalone videos – that house would probably finish with great windows, but really sucking basement. Or great roof, but very weak walls, that would break out…
There is just one cure for this. What people who are struggling in Dating and building long-lasting Relationships truly need, is a step by step complex relationship program, to teach us the relationship and dating skills step by step, from the basement, to the roof.
